The Friend Zone is a term used to describe a situation in which two people are friends and one of them wants to be in a relationship with the other. The more I log into Facebook, read forums, or play online games with open chats, the more memes or conversations about this I see. At first I thought it was cute and funny in that Niles and Daphne sort of way.
Then, as time progressed I began to notice the growing number of people, usually boys, seriously complaining about it in the most angst-ridden of ways. (I am aware that women can be guilty of this, too, but I am addressing the issue in regards to the males since that is where the popularity of the friend zone complaint seems to come from.)
It’s annoying. Here are a few reasons why:
- Complaining about the friend zone almost always ensures you will stay in the friend zone. Whining about women’s reluctance to be with you makes you look like, well, a whiner. It also points out a serious weakness and/or insecurity in your ability to handle yourself around women, especially those you are interested in.
- It shows a sense of entitlement that is not fair to women. Acting as if it is such an insulting travesty that a woman cannot read your mind and see that you are interested in her, therefore magically be inclined to jump into a romantic relationship with you, pretty much says that you think being her friend means she owes you that. Newsflash: just because you’re nice to a girl and she thinks you’re a good friend does not mean you deserve a little somethin’-somethin’ from her. Women have the right to their own feelings and romantic lives, believe it or not.
- The sense of entitlement derived from complaining about the friend zone not only reeks of of an immature boy crying about not getting the candy he wants, it also stinks of two more ugly possibilities! 1.) You’re afraid of telling her how you feel or actually taking the steps to initiate a romantic relationship with her, yet you feel embittered by the fact that she views you as a friend. Seriously, if you don’t like when women throw hissy fits and expect you to read their minds, why would you expect one to read yours..? 2.) You have expressed your desire to be with her and she just wasn’t interested. Rejection sucks, but if you proceed to stick around and complain about how you are stuck in the friend zone, all the while lingering about someone you keep propositioning, you might be bordering on the creep zone. The creep zone is where annoying little boys who cannot take a hint go.
- Why do you want to be with someone who does not want to be with you? Do you remember this guy?
There are few sides to the “friend zone” issue. Maybe you are a more reasonable guy than the types mentioned above. You did not expect the girl to read your mind and consequently put out, so you actually had the courage to tell the girl you’re interested in her. She said she still wanted to be friends because she has a boyfriend, which is part of why you complain about the friend zone in the first place. It seems that girls always get with these “bad” guys! Here are a few things to consider:
- If you’ve told a girl you’re really into her and you continue to be there for her at every turn only to receive half the consideration from her, don’t you think a relationship with her would be just as depressing?
- If you’ve told a girl who is currently in a relationship with someone else that you’re really into her and you’re still tending to her every need, then what else does that say about what a hypothetical relationship with her would be like?
There you have it. There is no reason to keep blaming the “friend zone” for your romantic woes. Now stop.